i wrote a poem once or twice

i'm hoping to go to new mexico soon.

i went last spring. drove 24 hours there and back. i live in one of the cloudiest cities in the country. and after driving through 18 hours of sleet and grey and even hail at one point, when i broke out of north texas to mid new mexico. it was heaven.

my grandfather has been in slowly declining health for the last few years. he's old. it happens. but i still hate it. he lives so far away. he and i have always been close. and i didn't know how bad his condition was until i got there. after my first night staying in his RV, i left to go to arizona to visit more family. it was another 6 hour drive. i am not a Writer. but i felt poetic i guess. this is what i wrote, text to speech, on my 14th hour on the road through the american southwest.

i find myself
in his tin can
in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
scrolling twitter and after only a minute
thinking "god, who gives a shit"
right now i have more
i'm here, i'm in the desert
he's still here, 74
i can see thousands of stars. i can see dozens of mountains
i can see myself here in 50 years
really i can! mostly by myself
for no reason other than loneliness likes to find me
a nice warm, quiet, scenic spot
occasional pleasantries
i find myself
in the truth
and the consequences

the fucking stars
the fucking stars! i can see his belt from anywhere in a heartbeat i can find that big fucking spoon
and even though that's the extent of it
it doesn't negate the pride
the sky is punctured! pinholes scattered
so many it seems like lint on a shirt
the kind of lint
from the kind of shirt
i shed across 55 south and 40 west for 600 miles
i am not coming back for that lint
i intend to come back
with less than a started with