so here's the thing. i started making this site with very few specifics in mind and a lot of generalities. but i am grateful for the creative explosion that has ensued, regardless of my inability to execute them in any particularly impressive way. i've always been a jack of all trades master of none type, which sometimes gets me down, but i've overall made my peace with it. it's fun to fuck around a bit with something new. having a bit of knowledge in something you don't use a lot is better than none because you never tried in the first place. and man. coding is hard. like, right now i'm trying to figure out how to make it so when you click a link in the archive sidebar, it just loads this div class instead of the whole page. and i know i'm gonna have to use javascript to do that but i just learned how div classes even work in the first place and i don't even know the first thing about js and i want to do everything at once but there are so many idiosyncracies and AUGH
edit-12.8.22: i figured it out! and i didn't even need to use javascript. thanks iframes
anyways. this has been really fun. and i'm sure my interest and engagement with this will ebb and flow like the rest of my interests. it's just how i am. but right now i'm having a really fun time fuckin' around, and thusly finding out. i'll probably never get good enough to do super cool stuff but i've already done something i'm quote proud of, and that's enough for me. like my main pages aren't anything groundbreaking, but they're a solid hub that does exactly what i need it to do! (i cannot thank sadgrl enough. she has been like, THE thing that helped me get started in the ever-so intimidating field of code. i used her site template to get started and haven't looked back since. seriously go check her stuff out, even if you don't want to make your own site or anything her site still rules!!
i read this blog post by someone (i ain't gonna link it, they seem like a truly miserable and combative person) who was decrying the influx of noobs to neocities just making sites for "no reason" or with "no purpose" behind it or "no passion" or whatever else people like to say to make their creations seem inherently better than others'. i've been thinking about it for a while. neocities is its own community, and i'm literally just a guy over here doing my own thing. idk if i'll ever be part of The Neocities Community, and i have no idea what it's like. but seriously doing this site has been one of the most creatively fulfilling things i've done in a while. and i hope more people do it. i had been thinking about the old web, and the ephemeral nature of modern social media sites spurned by everyone's favorite irredeemable human elon musk. twitter's been my home for like 3 years. and to have the threat of it all going away just sucks. i wanted something that i could fully customize and fuck around in and have fun with. and also something that, even if the servers went down, i could still have it.
i'm just rambling now. i'll wrap it up because i want to make either a blog post or a shrine about early 2000s fashion. but one thing i'll end with: i have a great time going through old geocities sites. i love, even if only briefly, seeing a snapshot of someone. even if i don't linger. i got to see a snippet of someone's soul. i am not being extra here. that is legitimately what it is to me. and i hope in 20 more years, some young adult is going through a random neocities page generator for a hit of nostalgia. and i hope they see one of my pages and i hope they see my weird clown shit and i hope they go "heh. that's neat".
of course, if you want to do that for me today, i'd certainly love that too.